A Couple’s Focus May Help or Doom Their Marriage

Do child-centered marriages more often end in divorce?

Helicopter parents take note: Child-centered marriages may be more likely to end in divorce than couple-focused marriages.

Ever since the baby boomer crowd decided that their children would have everything in life that they never had, their kids and those of subsequent generations have largely been raised in families where parents focused on their children’s wants and needs rather than on themselves as a couple. And the results have negatively impacted their marriages, their children, and society.

In child-centered families, everything revolves around the children’s academic, athletic, and social needs– with parents overextending themselves in terms of time, money, and emotional resources devoted to giving them everything they want and mistaking it for everything they need. This can take a toll on the couple’s marriage which may become sexless or otherwise disconnected by distracted, burnt-out parents. A perfect example of the harm that can come from a child-centered marriage gone awry is the recent college admissions scandal. 

Giving children everything is not the way to raise independent, mature, and responsible adults. These children don’t learn to work hard to earn something or to be responsible for their actions because their parents run interference with teachers, coaches, and even employers when their child doesn’t get what they wanted or expected. 

Being unable to delay gratification or tolerate frustration is resulting in delayed adolescence. Young adults are falling far behind in meeting milestones their parent’s generation met– like graduating high school, completing job training or college, moving out, buying a home, and having children. Not surprisingly, supporting these children financially for a decade or more longer than expected and having them remain in (or return to) the parents’ home, can also take a toll on a marriage. 

If you are considering getting divorced in Pennsylvania, have been served with divorce papers, or have any questions regarding a family law matter, the Law Office of Gary R. Swavely, Jr. can help you. Contact us today to schedule a consultation. 

From our office in Reading, Pennsylvania, we’ve been representing clients throughout Reading and the surrounding counties for over 25 years.