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Law Office of Gary R. Swavely, Jr. Blog

Thursday, May 23, 2019

Five Great Strategies for Handling Conflict During Your Divorce

The decision to end a marriage can bring to the surface a variety of emotions that a person may not have been expecting. As spouses are dealing with unwanted and difficult emotions, they are also dealing with numerous changes and adjustments, such as their living arrangements, financial situation, time with their child, and property division issues. It is understandable that couples often experience conflict during divorce.

A Pennsylvania divorce lawyer is familiar with the issues and conflicts during the divorce process. Working with an experienced lawyer may help you avoid some of the conflicts that arise during a divorce. If you cannot avoid conflict, your lawyer is with you during every step of the divorce process to provide advice, guidance, and support as the lawyer aggressively advocates for your best interests.

In addition to hiring a Reading, PA divorce lawyer to help you manage conflicts during a divorce, other ways you can reduce and manage conflicts include:

1.  Hire a Mediator or Arbitrator to Help

In some cases, it can help to have an impartial third-party facilitate an agreement between the parties. Mediation and arbitration are different forms of alternative dispute resolution (ADR). Couples may benefit by saving money, decreasing the time it takes to obtain the divorce, and obtain a more satisfactory agreement when they use ADR instead of allowing a judge to make a final decision for them.

2.  Consult a Co-Parenting Counselor

When parents can work together to make co-parenting work, it can often be the best situation for the child and the parents. However, co-parenting can be difficult. If parents continue to struggle with co-parenting, including meaningful communication and decision-making, the parents may benefit from working with a co-parent counselor. The counselor can help parents learn to co-parent effectively to avoid conflicts.

3.  Work with an Individual Therapist or Counselor?

A person may be holding onto strong feelings of anger, betrayal, and hurt that may cause the person to be confrontational and search for conflict. These emotions can have a significant negative impact on productive settlement negotiations. Seeking help from a therapist or counselor can help a person consider his or her own behavior and develop skills to cope with the emotions to reduce conflict.

4.  Do Not Try to Communicate When You Are Upset, Angry, or Hurt

Both parties should agree that if either party requests a break or to reschedule, the other party will do so without harsh words and negative comments. When emotions are high, it may be necessary to step back, regroup, and try again. Both spouses need to understand that this could happen to them at any time and for no identifiable reasons. Having a code word and a plan in place can help reduce arguments and conflict as the spouses work through their issues.     

5.  Listen and Then Listen Some More

If each spouse talks and no one listens, the spouses will never resolve conflicts. In that case, the spouses may actually create additional conflicts. Listening takes self-control. If you need assistance, try using a timer. One spouse can speak without interruption until the timer dings and then it is the other spouse’s turn to talk. While one spouse is talking, the other spouse should take productive notes so that he or she can continue to address matters when he or she talks again.

Contact a Pennsylvania Divorce lawyer for More Information


The divorce process can take an emotional toll on all parties involved. Working with a Pennsylvania divorce lawyer gives you a trusted source of support as you go through the divorce process. Contact the Law Office of Gary Swaverly, Jr. today for help guiding and supporting you through the divorce so that you are in a better place physically, emotionally, and financially when you complete the divorce process.

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